The fourth of July is my favorite holiday. I love summer and the freedom of shorts and t-shirts and summer sun. There is something so special about celebrating our freedom. Not just our freedom as Americans, but our freedom in general.

Freedom is defined in Webster’s dictionary as: “the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action; liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another; independence; and the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous.”

As a mother it seems sometimes that we have lost our freedoms. My neighbor told me that she made a conscious decision to not have children because when she thought about having a baby and needing to go to the grocery store, she imagined in her mind the steps it would take. Dress the baby in the appropriate clothes. Buckle him into the car seat. Bring him into the store in the carrier and pay close attention to his needs while picking up a few items. She said that it involved way too much devotion and energy and she did not want to have children.

She makes a good point and I think if many of us would imagine this scene before getting pregnant, it might be a natural form of birth control. In a sense, once a child comes into your life, freedom becomes a relative term. I don’t mean relative as in Grandma – but that does help!

What I mean is our internal freedom and sense of feeling absent of necessity, coercion and constraint. When we have so many demands as mothers each day, it is crucial to reflect on our inner state. How can we let go of the small stuff and focus on feeling free? How can we not have unrealistic expectations on ourselves as mothers and not push ourselves to the point of exhaustion? How can we rest and enjoy the moments of our children?

These are questions to ask yourself as you sit back and enjoy family and friends, picnics and fireworks. How can you feel more free as a mother?

Happy Fourth of July, 2012!

About Patti Ashley: Mothering Beyond Image helps women connect more deeply to themselves and others, therefore feeling more authentic, mindful and whole. Please visit www.motheringbeyondimage.com — sign up to be on my mailing list and stay updated on workshop information. Mothers always want to know whether or not they are doing a good job. This workshop will help you know that you ARE!

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